zandax online course logo
zandax website search
zandax phone callback
Info, Blogs, Contact & Login
Courses
Tests

Five Simple Tricks for Building Better Relationships

From the ZandaX Relationships Blog

Articles to help you build productive relationships

Home  >  ZandaX Blogs  >  Development Blog  >  Relationships Articles  > 
Five Simple Tricks for Building Better Relationships

Five Simple Tricks for Building Better Relationships

A post from our Relationships blog

Article author: John B
      Written by John B
I often compare building relationships to building a bridge. You can imagine as the settlers in America moved west, they came across a river that needed to be crossed.

At first, they probably sent somebody over with a rope, and that turned into a rope bridge.

Then, over time, as it got busier, that may have been upgraded to a wooden bridge, then a much stronger one with brick, cement etc.

Now, the stronger the bridge, the more it can cope with. A rope bridge is not going to support an 18 wheeler trying to cross.



Similarly, a relationship that's only just started has less chance of surviving if something bad happens, than if you have a long history of things going well.

So, last weekend, while driving to a cottage for a couple of days away, I saw a road sign that said Weak Bridge ahead. Obviously, its a warning that you may not want to take too heavy a vehicle across.

But, what it really made me think about was relationships. And are all my bridges strong enough?

Even the healthiest connections could use a check-up, once in a while. And this doesn't need to be as drastic as counselling or a time out. It's about brushing up on the small things, but it can lead to big relationship rewards.

Here are five simple tricks for getting off on the right foot — and building stronger bonds —  with anyone. They can be employed in any interaction, and they don't cost a thing!

1. Teach yourself to listen better

This is the smallest act of generosity that we can display to an individual standing in front of us, and it builds a level of trust and dependability. We've all got those friends that we turn to when we're facing a tough time, and we love them for their listening skills!

Better listening helps to prevent those tricky talks in our relationships, as well as de-escalating them when they do happen, because it shows that we're receptive to the other person. But it's not always easy, in a world full of distractions.

In order to get to grips with the fundamentals of others — their interests and their values — it starts by simply paying a little more attention on a smaller scale. Learning how to actively listen; by turning to face your partner, directing your gaze, paraphrasing and asking questions, shows a genuine level of interest. And you'll learn something from each interaction.

Once you've mastered that, your counterpart will inevitably feel a lot more heard. And this can only do a relationship favours.

Want to Build Better Relationships?


If you'd like to learn more about building relationships, why not take a look at how we can help?

Boost your interpersonal skills with our online courses.
RRP from $89 – limited time offer just $16.00



2. Learn to speak (and read) body language

Anyone ever said; "I know there's something up with you, just tell me!"? Of course they have. Because, however good we all think we are at hiding things from our partners, or parents, et al; we're constantly giving off subtle clues as to what's going on under the bonnet — just by sitting a certain way. Or folding our arms across our chests, in a classic defensive move.For those close, personal, relationships; letting down our physical guard — in the build-up to a conflict — can quickly improve the situation. Leaning into a conversation — in a non-threatening way, of course — and making eye contact with the other person, signals; "even though I might not like what you're saying, I'm willing to hear it".

The same is true in reverse. If we can see that our partner is feeling uncomfortable, we can place a reassuring hand on an arm, to signal our support. In a professional environment we might not want to grab our boss's arm; but using positive body language will show our colleagues that we're cooperative. And cooperation is the basis of a strong society.

Better body language doesn't just help us get out of relationship scrapes. It invites new connections to develop, through encouraging interaction instead of giving the, literal, cold-shoulder.

3. Know when to check your emotional baggage

We all share this planet. And that means that we have to make allowances for other people. Often. A key to building great relationships is knowing when to shelve your personal interests and emotions, to make room for understanding somebody else's situation, or feelings.

If relationships are a one-way-street, with one party always doing the cheerleading or consoling, someone will always feel left out or undervalued. A small-scale example that we all know is conversation hijacking!

In a really simple way, we can put ourselves second by not interrupting others. This also means not just waiting for someone to get their story over with so that we can tell our, better, version. It's about employing all of your listening (as above) and engaging skills and, only when you've really given the other person the floor, responding in a way that's not purely self-focused. Your counterpart really will thank you for it, and they'll be much more likely to want to keep the conversation going.

4. Be a mirror

One of the things that separates our species is our ability to empathise with one another. And there's no greater connecting block than displaying that you're on the same emotional page as your partner.

Similarly to the previous point — instead of competing for airtime — learn to compliment your partner's conversation with the same tone of storytelling. Not in a way that overshadows, but in a way that demonstrates that you're engaged in their emotional state, and that you're feeling it too.

Mirror joy with joy, and all the rest. Not only is it a real buzz kill, when someone saps all of the fun out of another's story by changing the mood to a more depressive one; it's also effectively saying; "Yeah, yeah, OK". And it can give the impression that you really weren't listening.

5. Be positive

Of course, nobody feels like skipping to work first thing on a Monday morning. Or belting out a tune in the midst of a hideous argument. But people gravitate towards those who exude positivity in life, far more than those who don't.In fact, positive thinkers tend to be some of society's most influential people. Think motivational speakers, teachers, politicians (most of the time!). To quote Richard Branson; "When you are positive, it rubs off on people and you help to create a more positive atmosphere. Equally, when you are negative, this also has an effect".

To bring it back down to bite-sized, conversational level; gossipy types — who choose to use negative language and like to talk up the bad in situations — don't fill others with the confidence that they're trustworthy. When we engage positively with the people around us, we give off an air of willingness to do good, and see others succeed. This can be something as tiny as switching the phrase "I'm not too bad", for "I'm really well thanks".

Other traits that people associate with positivity are; being humble — or displaying gratitude; living in the moment; being funny; being optimistic, and so on.

Who wouldn't want to surround themselves with that type of person?

Want to Build Better Relationships?


If you'd like to learn more about building relationships, why not take a look at how we can help?

Boost your interpersonal skills with our online courses.
RRP from $89 – limited time offer just $16.00



 

Back to the Relationships blog

Click the button for more Relationships articles.

The ZandaX Personal Development blog

Click a panel for great articles on personal development

Write For Us

We pride ourselves on our busy, high-quality and helpful blog, and we're always looking for guest contributors to increase the variety and diversity of what we present.

Click to see how you can write for us with an original and well-written guest post.

ZandaX Blog Contents

Want to see them all? Click to view a full list of articles in our blogs.

Online courses to boost your skills
Click a button to see more about each course
Personal Development
Microsoft Software
 
 
Leadership & Management
Sales & Presentations
Service & Support
 
 
ZandaX online training course logo
ZandaX – Change Your Life ... Today
All content © ZandaX 2023
ZandaX LinkedIn logo
ZandaX LinkedIn logo
ZandaX LinkedIn logo
Close menu element
See how you score on a range of skills that are critical to your well-being and performance
Communication Skill test
Communication Skills
How Can You Communicate Better?
Would you like to see what kind of communicator you are? And how you can improve the effectiveness of your communications?
Likeability test
Likeability
How Much Do People Like You?
Do you sometimes wonder just how likeable you are? And wouldn't you like to see how you can (genuinely) become more likeable?


Time Management test
Time Management
How Can You Make More Use Of Your Time?
Are you frustrated by how easily time slips away? Do you get frustrated when things don't get done just because you run out of time?
Assertiveness test
Assertiveness
Are you Passive, Aggressive or Assertive?
Would you like to know where you fall on the behavior spectrum? Does your response to events sometimes surprise you?


Close menu element
Information & Resources
ZandaX information
Information
Read more about us, our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Service
See how we want to help you, and how we make everything easy for everyone
Callback request
ZandaX Blogs
Articles to increase your knowledge and understanding in key areas of your life and career.
Read our blogs on Personal Development, Business Skills and Leadership & Management


Time Management test
Log In
Log in to your online dashboard
View your courses, review what you want and download your workbooks and certificates
Assertiveness test
Contact Us
An easy online form to get in touch
With options for More Information, Customer Service and Feedback


Close menu element
Develop Your Skills, Knowledge and Understanding with ZandaX
Click any subject in the listings for more information and a full list of courses

Personal Development
Personal Development training
Your soft skills affect everything you do, at work, at home and with friends ... they are truly life changing!
NEW COURSES
Online training courses
Hot Off the Press...
We're always adding to and upgrading our courses, so here are a few of our latest releases:
For a full listing of courses, please visit our Quick Course Finder to find exactly what you want.
Site Cookies
We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better.

You can change your cookie settings in your browser. Otherwise, we'll assume you're OK to continue.

I'm fine with this