zandax online course logo
zandax website search
zandax phone callback
Info, Blogs, Contact & Login
Courses
Tests

How to Reduce Stress by Being More Assertive

From the ZandaX Stress Management Blog

Articles to help you reduce and control your stress

Home  >  ZandaX Blogs  >  Development Blog  >  Stress Management Articles  > 
How to Reduce Stress by Being More Assertive

How to Reduce Stress by Being More Assertive

A post from our Stress Management blog

Article author: Riley Mitchell
      Written by Riley Mitchell
Are you still dealing with too much stress despite trying nearly every approach in the book to remedy it?

Could your communication with others be one of the leading causes (or the lead cause) of your stress?

Do you find it difficult to truly express what you feel?



Do you feel guilty or anxious afterwards when behaving in a non-assertive way?

These are important questions to ask, because a lot of the stress and anxiety you're currently facing may be down to a non-assertive attitude.

Up Goes Assertiveness, Down Goes Stress

Now, because there are different causes of stress, there can be many different solutions to either reducing, eradicating or managing stress.

Some of those solutions look to provide temporary relief, while others look at long term of permanent solutions.

Two of the solutions that provide long term or permanent relief are actively managing your time better, and behaving in an assertive manner, which is the one that I'm going to focus on here.

You may actually find it surprising that something like a simple character trait like assertiveness can have a positive impact on your stress levels. But the reason that it's true is that the character trait is the very thing causing stress. Change the character trait, and the causes of stress can disappear, and you don't have to worry about "managing" them.

Being assertive is often seen by experts as a core communication skill. Because it means you have the ability to openly express what you truly feel and stand up for what you believe in, all the while being mindful of others' beliefs and rights.

But how does this tie in with lowering stress levels, you might ask? Well, let's have a look at how your behavior can actually be causing you stress, and then how changing your behavior removes the stress.

The Different Behavior Types

There are four main behavior types. Three are seen as negative/bad, and one is seen as positive/good.

The three negative behavior types are being passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive.

Assertive behavior is the good one that you want.

How Being Passive Causes Stress

For one, passive people have a very hard time saying "no" – they tend to take on too many responsibilities, which can cause a lot of undue stress. They're generally too busy performing duties or tasks that others require, and are not focusing enough on ensuring their own wants and needs are met.

This can be both at work or in social/family situations. You may even be able to say "no" to some people, but not others. So I'm talking about people that act in a passive manner a good deal of the time.

Passive people also struggle to ask for help. You may find that friends, family members and colleagues would only be too glad to help, if they realized that you needed it. So by not asking, you're keeping all the work, and responsibility on yourself, and that causes stress for you.



How Being Aggressive Causes Stress

Consistently behaving in an aggressive manner has consequences. Firstly, it can make you unpleasant to be around, and aggressive people struggle to make many long-term friends, which most people worry about. Not having a support structure in your life is the cause of loads of stress.

Secondly, it brings you into conflict, and aggressive people tend not to handle conflict well, so there can be lots of fights and arguments. All of which cause stress.

Furthermore, conflict can cause problems at work, and then you have the stress that that causes, as you fret over losing your employment etc.



How Being Passive-Aggressive Causes Stress

Passive-aggressive people look like they're going along with things, only to resist in some subtle, hidden, and perhaps devious way.

They look you in the eye and agree with you, then go and gossip about you behind your back, or commit some act of sabotage.

Most of this "behind the back" behavior can leave them apprehensive about being caught, or if somebody confronts them about their inappropriate behavior, they end up in conflict. Both cause stress.

So whether you're passive or passive-aggressive, and looking to avoid conflict, you may have reduced the stress caused by the conflict, but you've caused it in another way.

So now let's look at assertive behavior.

Want to Be More Assertive?


If you'd like to learn more about assertive behavior, why not take a look at how we can help?

Boost your assertiveness and self consifence with our online courses.
RRP from $89 – limited time offer just $16.00



Lowering Stress – Why Assertive Behavior Totally Makes Sense

The very concept on which assertiveness is built revolves around mutual respect; it is a highly effective and diplomatic way of communicating with others.

The fact of the matter is, when you're assertive, you are demonstrating to others that you have profound respect for your own beliefs, thoughts, feelings and opinions – and that you are well aware of others' rights, beliefs and thoughts, and are willing to resolve conflicts, if need be.

You see, it's not what your underlying message is about, but rather how it is delivered – assertive communication is always direct and respectful, which is why assertive people get what they want more often, avoid what they see as situations that they don't want to be in, and seldom find themselves involved in conflict.

They have prevented all the situations that can cause them stress from happening in the first place.

It's been widely believed by experts and psychologists alike that stress squarely revolves around the ‘perception of not having adequate control' – assertiveness actually puts one in the driver's seat by increasing personal control. Without a doubt, being assertive is among the best ways to beating stress.

However, if you're the kind of person who has a tendency to communicate in a very passive or aggressive way, your underlying message will most certainly get lost, because the person you're communicating with will be too busy trying to react to your message. You've lost control.

If you take one thing from what I say, let it be this. Behaving assertively more will put you in control more, and that's what reduces stress.

See where this is going?

Less assertiveness... more complicated situations to deal with... more problems at the end of the day. And it's all on you! Or...

More assertiveness...more tricky situations avoided...more pleasure... less stress. It's like a domino, one falling triggers another.

So I hope that by now you're on board with me, you agree that you need to act assertively.

So what's the end result? You feel less stressed, and even if you do feel stress creeping in, you know how to counter it with assertive actions backed up by a positive attitude.

Want to Be More Assertive?


If you'd like to learn more about assertive behavior, why not take a look at how we can help?

Boost your assertiveness and self consifence with our online courses.
RRP from $89 – limited time offer just $16.00

Back to the Stress Management blog

Click the button for more Stress Management articles.

The ZandaX Personal Development blog

Click a panel for great articles on personal development

Write For Us

We pride ourselves on our busy, high-quality and helpful blog, and we're always looking for guest contributors to increase the variety and diversity of what we present.

Click to see how you can write for us with an original and well-written guest post.

ZandaX Blog Contents

Want to see them all? Click to view a full list of articles in our blogs.

Online courses to boost your skills
Click a button to see more about each course
Personal Development
Microsoft Software
 
 
Leadership & Management
Sales & Presentations
Service & Support
 
 
ZandaX online training course logo
ZandaX – Change Your Life ... Today
All content © ZandaX 2023
ZandaX LinkedIn logo
ZandaX LinkedIn logo
ZandaX LinkedIn logo
Close menu element
See how you score on a range of skills that are critical to your well-being and performance
Communication Skill test
Communication Skills
How Can You Communicate Better?
Would you like to see what kind of communicator you are? And how you can improve the effectiveness of your communications?
Likeability test
Likeability
How Much Do People Like You?
Do you sometimes wonder just how likeable you are? And wouldn't you like to see how you can (genuinely) become more likeable?


Time Management test
Time Management
How Can You Make More Use Of Your Time?
Are you frustrated by how easily time slips away? Do you get frustrated when things don't get done just because you run out of time?
Assertiveness test
Assertiveness
Are you Passive, Aggressive or Assertive?
Would you like to know where you fall on the behavior spectrum? Does your response to events sometimes surprise you?


Close menu element
Information & Resources
ZandaX information
Information
Read more about us, our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Service
See how we want to help you, and how we make everything easy for everyone
Callback request
ZandaX Blogs
Articles to increase your knowledge and understanding in key areas of your life and career.
Read our blogs on Personal Development, Business Skills and Leadership & Management


Time Management test
Log In
Log in to your online dashboard
View your courses, review what you want and download your workbooks and certificates
Assertiveness test
Contact Us
An easy online form to get in touch
With options for More Information, Customer Service and Feedback


Close menu element
Develop Your Skills, Knowledge and Understanding with ZandaX
Click any subject in the listings for more information and a full list of courses

Personal Development
Personal Development training
Your soft skills affect everything you do, at work, at home and with friends ... they are truly life changing!
NEW COURSES
Online training courses
Hot Off the Press...
We're always adding to and upgrading our courses, so here are a few of our latest releases:
For a full listing of courses, please visit our Quick Course Finder to find exactly what you want.
Site Cookies
We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better.

You can change your cookie settings in your browser. Otherwise, we'll assume you're OK to continue.

I'm fine with this