Nine Reasons Why We Need to Communicate Assertively

Have you ever felt as though you know exactly what it is that you want to achieve and how to go about doing it, but you fall short when it comes to explaining what you need to others?

Or do you feel like you can talk the talk but, underneath all the confident speeches, you're not at all sure about what you should be doing with yourself?

You're not alone!  It's a common disconnect between how we feel and how we communicate, and one that can hold us back – both at work and at home. Because, in order to have any sort of social success rate, assertiveness and assertive communication need to happen simultaneously.



But why bother trying with communicating assertively? What real-life benefits can it actually have? Well, the overarching answer is that, without assertive communication, we can't get a lot done.

And here are a few other benefits.

1. It'll Boost Your Career Prospects

It's common knowledge that employers favor those who act assertively in the workplace. But what you might not know is that there are all kinds of subtleties which differentiate assertiveness from aggression – which is a common misconception and is most certainly not a desirable trait.

There's also passive behavior, which can make us appear weak and indecisive in the eyes of those around us. So it's up to how we communicate, to direct our behavior and set us apart in a working environment that's increasingly competitive.

Assertive communication strikes the perfect balance between strong-mindedness on one hand, and empathy toward others on the other.  It means we're seen as likeable yet confident. Which is an idea candidate for progression within a business!

2. People Will Gravitate Towards You

Yes, it's true! Communicating assertively has the power to make us more likeable. It's to do with the empathy we've just mentioned. Where aggressive types are all about "me", and passive types are all about "you", assertive people are 100% focused on "we".  Simple enough, but that sums it up in a sentence.
And this is extremely endearing to others.

It applies to both work-based and personal connections.

3. It Will Lead To Stronger Relationships

Likeability – naturally – has the power to help us form relationships of all kinds. And communicating assertively will help us develop and cement these relationships; it will turn mere acquaintances into mutually respectful bonds. Assertive communication has active listening at its core.

And when we really learn to listen to those around us, we're able to empathize with their viewpoint better, overcome obstacles in a way which respects everyone's agenda ... and learn from our past mistakes.
All this makes for longer-lasting bonds.

4. Your Self-Esteem Will Grow

Part and parcel of building better relationships and getting more opportunities at work, is that we start to develop more confidence in ourselves.

This then has a knock-on effect of reinforcing our assertive behavior.
It's true that passive behavior breeds a lack of self-confidence which, in turn, leads to a cycle of further passive behavior.
So in the same way, assertive behavior will boost our confidence and this will encourage us to continue acting assertively.
When we're thinking and saying all the right things, in any situation, we'll reap the rewards of having others react positively to us.

5. It Will Reduce Your Stress Levels

One of the less-thought-of side effects of communicating assertively is a reduction in the amount of stress we feel.

And who wouldn't want less of that?

If we think about it, the root of much of our stress is a feeling of being unable to cope with pressure. This is true both in the workplace and in our home lives.

Through communicating more assertively, in both scenarios, we set out clear personal boundaries, generate mutual respect and achieve greater results in the things we decide to so. This has a significant offloading effect, giving us more headspace and, ultimately, improving our mood and ability to cope with daily stressors.

6. You'll Be Able To Negotiate Better

This isn't just about business negotiations.

Part of developing mutual respect and strengthening bonds with colleagues, friends and relatives, is that we get better at negotiating tricky situations with them.

Communicating assertively involves careful listening and empathy, which means that we're more able to work through problems in a way that yields positive results for everyone concerned. Remember: we're not only thinking about ourselves, but what's best for all parties.

And this means we're more likely to have our opinion taken seriously in future "negotiations".

7. You'll Become A Better Influencer

No, this has nothing to do with social media: it ties in with the last point. If we make those around us feel valued, they'll be much more likely to listen to, and even follow, us.

Aggressive types employ bullying tactics which, while potentially effective in the short term, are unlikely to gain friends and followers in the future. And passive behavior often renders us unable to formulate, let alone communicate, our ideas and boundaries to others.

So we're hardly going to be successful by being too "in your face" or by keeping quiet. When we communicate assertively we demonstrate that although we're not going to walk all over others to achieve our goals, we're in control.

8. You'll Become Less Of A Pushover

The best way to counteract passiveness – the behavior most commonly associated with being a "pushover" – is with assertiveness.

Communicating assertively is, in large part, about establishing others' expectations of us, by setting out clear boundaries. But it's also about learning how to disagree with people in a productive way, which neither passivity or aggression can really achieve.

9. You'll Have More Energy!

This is a nice but maybe unexpected by-product of lower stress levels. It's also linked with better time management – brought about through developing our assertive behaviors. It's a bit of a no-brainer really.

When we're able to get more done and lighten our load, we spend less time flapping about the tasks we have to juggle, less time lying awake at night worrying, and more time doing the things we enjoy. And as you can imagine, having more focus and mental clarity has a powerful effect on reducing the energy-sapping properties of procrastination and irritation.

And before we leave you, if you'd like to learn more about developing your ability to communicate assertively, we have a course specifically dedicated to it, called Being A Better Communicator so why not see if you think it's something that could benefit you?